Mistletoe, Mulled Wine and Merry Men
by FearlessFred
Summary: It's Christmas time in Trenton and Stephanie has talked the Merry Men into some Christmas fun whilst Ranger is 'in the wind'. But who is having the most fun? Just a little bit of festive frolics. Rating changed to T for language.
1. Chapter 1

**Okay I know It's a little early but this was a story bouncing about my head that had to be written. I work in a dept store and have been inventing this while suffering the early Xmas songs we're playing. It started off as a wee one shot but has grown. Will post another chapter on in a week on 1st Dec unless you push me for one sooner. Please review and let me know what you think. Oh and don't worry if you happen to be following my other two stories, the next chapter's are well under way and will be posted soon.**

**Usual disclaimer. This is all Janet's world I'm just giving them some festive cheer!**

I walked into the Control Room and noticed how unusually calm and quiet it was today. Not that there is usually much laughter or chatting, but today you could hear a pin drop. But maybe that wasn't surprising, today was Christmas Eve after all and Trenton was hyped up for the festive season. It was a good day to be FTA today. Most bounty hunter's would probably just wait for after their Christmas dinner before trying to apprehend anyone. Or maybe that was just me! I wasn't intending to do much work at all until at least the 27th. I was only at Rangeman today to finish a couple of searches for Rodriguez, and of course for the first ever Rangeman Christmas Party.

Yes you heard me. Festive cheer was coming to Haywood. Although this was probably only due to the fact that Ranger was 'in the wind' and wouldn't be back until after the New Year. Tank has apparently spoken to him and Batman has authorised the party, much to everyone's surprise. I suspect Ranger is possibly 'in the wind' at the North Pole! I can't think of any other possible explanation.

Everything was arranged. The party was being held in one of the larger apartments Rangeman has for housing employees. One had became vacant a few months ago after Cal moved in with his girlfriend. Another surprise for you, Cal the huge beast of a man with a flaming skull tattoo on his forehead, has found a girl who finds him attractive. I've even met her, she had a tattoo of a dagger across her cheek!

So anyway, it was decided to have the party there so we would have the kitchen facilities there for Ella to prepare the food, and the entertainment system in the lounge was second to none, so there would be no problems when it came to playing some festive tunes. It even had a karaoke machine, although I'm not sure I want to go there!

I had also talked everyone into doing a Secret Santo too. I had made up pieces of paper with everyone's names on them and we had picked names a couple of weeks ago. I had picked Tank! Let me tell you it was no easy task choosing a present for him, but in the end Lula had helped me out. Lula and Tank are engaged to be married, eventually. Tank may have to be stun gunned before Lula manages to get him up the aisle! I have no idea who picked my name, but I'm hoping it's someone with taste, and not Hal! As much as I love him, he can barely talk to someone of the opposite sex, never mind buy a suitable present. I would probably be the recipient of a tool box or possibly a pepper spray holder if Hal was my Secret Santa.

Last of all, and probably my proudest feat, was talking a Merry Man into becoming Santa Clause for the occasion. The only problem was I didn't know which MIB was going to become the MIR! They had only agreed if this would be a secret too so I had to make up cards with only one saying the name Santa on it. I also had to agree to be Santa's Little Helper and wear something suitably short and figure hugging. I was now the owner of the sexiest elf outfit ever! I have no idea who picked out the Santa card, but I had a suitably large Santa suit sitting in the men's locker room down in the gym, all ready for the lucky man!

So here I was about to start a couple of hours work, then head up to my borrowed apartment to get myself ready for showtime! I waved to Woody who was sat watching the monitors. This was an indication that things really were quiet in Trenton, there was usually two men sat at the monitors so that nothing would be missed. Walking down the room to my workstation I could hear quiet talking coming from Tank's office as I passed. I couldn't make out what was being said but the low rumbling indicated at least two Merry Men were having a conversation in there. I got to my cubicle at the rear of the room and sat myself down. I looked around my little space and felt that something wasn't quite right, but I couldn't put my finger on it. I fired up the computer and pulled a Tasty Kake out from my top drawer. I sat back and looked around trying to figure out what was setting my Spidey Sense all a tingle. Rangeman's building is as secure as Fort Knox so I knew whatever felt off wasn't life threatening. But a practical joke wasn't out of the question, especially when the Bossman wasn't around.

I looked around my desk. Everything seemed to be in order there. The couple of files I had left yesterday had multiplied but there was nothing unusual about that. I glanced through them and saw that all the files were from Rodriguez. I still hadn't actually met the man but when I did I was going to give him a peace of my mind. I was hoping that was going to be tonight after a few glasses of mulled wine. I mean come on, it's Christmas Eve. Nobody wants to work on Christmas Eve after lunch time. I certainly wasn't going to. I had a body to prepare for partying, an outfit to be squeezed into, and hair that would need to be tamed into respectability. I would need a whole afternoon for that task. I also remembered vaguely that I had promised Ella I would help with the preparations for tonight's party. I hope she was going to limit my tasks to cutting sandwiches or maybe tasting the food to make sure it's cooked correctly. Wouldn't want anyone to come down with food poisoning for tomorrow would we?

I glanced up at the walls of my cubicle but there was nothing astray there either. I had hung some tinsel up and placed a 2ft Christmas tree in the corner to add a touch of festive ambience but it was all looking rather pathetic. I swivelled back around in my seat to start on the first file when I realised what was wrong. My seat was much higher than usual, in fact it was probably as high as it would go.

I remembered the last time this had happened and my heart sank. The last time someone (I suspect Bobby) had hung my stash of cakes and candy from the ceiling, way out of my reach. It was so high that even a Merry Man, who range from 6'2 to 6'7 would have to had stood on my chair to achieve this. But my stash was still safely in my drawer. So what was hanging above me, I knew that something must be up there. I slowly looked up but couldn't see anything. Okay so why was my seat raised. I couldn't think of any other explanation than a practical joke. I stood up and stepped out of my workspace to have another look.

"Hey Beautiful, what's up?" It was Lester, who after Bobby would be my second suspect for pulling a prank on me.

"Something's going on Santos, what have you guys been up to?"

"What's wrong Steph, we're just getting in a Yuletide mood like you asked us all to." He slung an arm around my shoulder and walked me back into the cubicle before turning me around to face him. Or rather turning me around to face his chest!

"What do you mean?" I asked looking around. Everything was exactly as I left it yesterday. I looked up at Lester who was looking up at the ceiling. I looked up to where he was looking and then I saw what I had missed earlier. Hanging on a thin piece of string from the ceiling was a sprig of mistletoe!

I looked back at Lester, who was now standing with his eyes closed and his lips puckered. I did what any good Burg girl would do under the circumstances and punched him in the gut. Not that it made much of an impact. Lester was 6'3" of hard muscle. He feigned pain and stepped back clutching his stomach.

"That was uncalled for, you were the one who said we should do Christmas at Rangeman. We never did Christmas at Rangeman before you came along."

"Yeah fair enough Santos, but this is pushing it don't you think."

"I don't see why Beautiful, mistletoe is as Christmassy as eggnog and candy canes, and I've seen you work your way through loads of that over the last few days."

"But why have you put it above my cubicle, and not Hector's or Ram's?"

"Because I don't want to be kissing Hector or Ram, where's the fun in that?"

Just then Ella walked past carrying a tray of doughnuts. Another benefit of the boss being away, although we had to bribe Tank with first choice of the goodies to stop him from telling Ranger.

"Hey Ella, want to come give Lester a peck under the mistletoe." I looked at Lester grinning but he just grinned right back at me.

"Yeah c'mon Ella, how about a quick smooch?"

"Oh dearies, what are you like? Just let me take this tray through to Tank first. Don't you be telling Louis about any of this though, I've only just persuaded him he doesn't need to be big and muscular like you boys to keep me interested."

Wow probably too much information there. I somehow didn't want to think about the matronly Ella having anything remotely like a sex life. It would be like thinking about my own mom and dad's sex life. I just didn't go there!

"Think you're being clever Steph" Lester said pulling me towards him. "I better go and get Binkie now if Ella is giving away some free kisses."

I raised my eyebrows and tried not to have a hot flash at the closeness of Lester's hot Latino maleness. It had been a while since I had been this close to anyone of the opposite sex, unless you count the ones I've ended up rolling about in garbage with, or wrestling naked on the floor with (the nakedness being on their part, not mine!).

"Yeah Binkie has it bad for Ella, have you never noticed, he's always following her around like a lost puppy."

"Is that not just in the hope of getting some of her cookies, Ella must be about 30 years older than Binkie"

"Binkie has a thing for older women, haven't you noticed he's the only one who doesn't mind Bombshell duty when you're with your Grandma."

Oh my God, Lester did not just say that. But he was right, recently it had usually been Binkie who turned up when something disastrous happened when Grandma Mazur was around. I just put it down to the fact he was the youngest and one of the newest recruits and had always drawn the short straw. Ella was in her mid 50s and at a stretch you could see why a younger man could possibly find her attractive, but my Grandmother! She was in her 80's but looked about 102! Gross! I was going to have to have a serious chat with Binkie.

"So come on Steph, how about a bit of Lester lovin'. Now that's the cat's away the mice will play!"

"What's that supposed to mean?" I backed away from Lester before I got the urge to jump his bones. It wouldn't be the first time Lester had given me this reaction. Lester was almost as hot as Ranger. He was certainly a poor woman's second.

"What, do you think I would be trying it on if Batman was around? I would be down on the mats with him for days if he saw this"

"It's got nothing to do with Ranger who I kiss, it never has been." I said indignantly

"Oh c'mon on Beautiful, as soon as he's back and finds out you're definitely off with the cop he's gonna be on you like Lula on a chicken thigh."

Nice visual there. I've seen Lula eat a chicken thigh so many times it's ingrained on my brain. I've never witnessed Ranger eating a chicken thigh though. If it was anyway near as sensual as Lula can eat one then . . . . . Oh Lord my hormones were going into overdrive!

"So what do you say, just one little kiss. No one will know but us."

"Yeah right Santos, and everyone with access to a monitor."

"I've taken the liberty of switching the camera nearest your cubicle off, no one will see a thing."

I looked up at the camera then to Lester. What harm would it do? One little kiss between friends. And I did count Lester as one of my closest friends. If Ranger wasn't around it was usually Lester or Bobby I called if I needed anything. I knew a hell of a lot more about Lester too. He was as big a chatterbox as I was!

"Who else knows about this."

"Just me, you missed it the first time you looked and no one else has seen it either. It would just be our little secret."

"Don't forget Ella's too."

"I don't care who else knows about it once I've had my one kiss. Hell you could hang it over Hectors' desk next for all I care."

Just then Ella chose her moment to pop up. "I'm ready for you now Lester." I burst out laughing at her eagerness.

"Come here to me hot stuff." Lester pulled Ella towards him before lifting her up to plant a smacker on her cheek. I could have sworn Ella looked slightly disappointed. Lester must have seen it too as he swooped her up for another one, this time squarely on the lips. Ella let out a happy little squeal as he put her back on her feet and scurried away straightening her apron. I waited till she was out of earshot before I burst out laughing again. Lester had just made her day. He was grinning from ear to ear too. "You're turn now" he said pulling me close.

I looked up at him and thought 'What the hell'. Lester would know this was just a one off. Deep down I knew there was something between Ranger and I, and that was the reason it wasn't difficult when Joe and I split up for good. Lester and I had flirted meaninglessly from the get go, but nothing would ever come of it. It was all just a bit of fun.

"Just the one mind, and no tongues!" Lester manufactured a disappointed face and moved in. He kissed me gently on the lips but his mouth lingered on mine. He put his arms around my waist and I instinctively put my arms around his neck. He pulled me closer still and his tongue brushed my bottom lip. I pulled back slightly "No tongues remember" I said breathing heavily. My word he could kiss.

"Sorry" he breathed into my mouth. "You just taste so good Steph." He moved back in for another kiss and this time I let him in. I just couldn't help it. He tasted so good too. Our tongues met and a shot of electricity shot all the way down my spine to my doodah. I pulled back before I did something I regretted, like pulling him up to the apartment I was staying in for the night.

We pulled back from each other and Lester looked a bit dazed. He maybe hadn't expected the kiss to be that good. But his expression soon changed to sheepish.

"What's wrong Lester?"

It took two seconds to find out, when catcalls and wolf whistles filled the control room. I was suddenly surrounded by Merry Men as Bobby, Cal, Woody, Hal, Zero, Binkie, Ram and Tank all appeared out of nowhere. Woody held a small portable screen and I could see Lester and I standing there. The camera hadn't been switched off at all.

"You bastard!" I shouted at Lester, who was still standing there looking a bit shell shocked. In spite of myself though I wasn't that angry. I had well and truly been had, but I only had myself and my hormones to blame.

"Me next" Bobby shoved his way through the throng of black and pushed Lester out the way to stand under the mistletoe beside me.

"Me after Brown" Woody moved to stand behind Bobby and I watched in amazement as the rest of the Merry Men formed a queue behind Woody. I couldn't believe all these men were so desperate to get a peck on the cheek from me. They certainly weren't getting what I just shared with Lester!

Suddenly an idea started to form in the back of my head. It was payback time! I had to get my head straight so that meant I would have to get rid of them for the time being until I could collect my thoughts. I had the beginnings of a fantastic plan but I would need some help. It was time to pull in the big guns.

"Right guys, give me some space. I'm not doing this in front of any camera's and I need some more lip gloss. If you guys move the mistletoe through to the break room, and promise not to have camera's on me, then you can all have the same treatment Lester got, one by one."

They all looked at each other and started muttering. I looked around at Lester who was looking slightly pissed. I think now that he had been on the receiving end of some 'Stephanie lovin' that he didn't want to share. I did the adult thing and stuck my tongue out at him.

Suddenly a hush fell around the men and Bobby was pushed forward. He had obviously been elected spokesman.

"Okay Steph we agree to you're terms, no camera's. We have only one condition of our own."

"You don't need to have any condition's, I'm the one who's agreeing to do this in the first place."

"But if you don't agree to our one condition, then there will be no Santa at the party." Zero stepped forward to put in his 2 cents worth.

"Ooh that's just nasty" I said narrowing my eyes at them. "Okay what's this one condition?"

Bobby moved over and put his arm around me before whispering in my ear "You have to wear your skimpy little elf outfit under the mistletoe."

I looked at all the men with looks of such expectation on their faces. They were just like little boys on Christmas Day hoping for their first train sets. Suddenly my little plan started taking on arms and legs and a smile spread across my face.

"Okay boys you have a deal. I need to pop out for an hour or so. I'll meet you in the break room at 1600 hours. Form an orderly queue outside the door and I'll call you in when I'm ready."

I grabbed my bag and squeezed past them all and headed for the elevator. I was going to have to call in some favours but revenge would be sweet. As hot and sweet as Ella's mulled wine.


	2. Chapter 2

**Well here as promised is the next instalment of my Christmas tale. I had hoped to post it a bit earlier but my wee girl has been ill so story telling has taken a back seat. I hope to get the final chapter up next week. Enjoy!**

Chapter 2

I raced out the parking garage and tried to arrange my thoughts into something constructive. My first stop was going to be Pleasure Treasures, where I had noticed an Elf outfit in the window, one that was even skimpier than the one I already owned. I also needed a large trolley, or a big tub on wheels. I suddenly thought of where I could get one, and did an illegal U turn and headed for Trenton PD.

I got there in record time and called Lula from the car park. I was going to need another favour to get everything done in time.

"Hey white girl" Lula answered after the third ring.

"Lula, I need your help?"

"Where are you?"

"Cop shop." Click. She hung up. Shit wrong approach, Lula hated the police and wouldn't come near this place unless she absolutely had to. I phoned the bonds office instead hoping someone would still be there. Connie picked up after about eight rings. I had visions of her wrestling with Lula over the phone.

"Connie, I need to speak to Lula." I could hear scuffling and squeals before Lula eventually came on.

"I ain't coming near no cop shop on Christmas Eve."

"So if I had been arrested and you were my only phone call, you wouldn't help me out?"

"Have you been arrested?"

"No, but . . ." Click. Shit she'd hung up again. This was wasting precious time, I would just have to do it all myself. I hauled myself out the car and over to the doors. It was getting colder and rain was forecast for later. It didn't look hopeful for a white Christmas in Trenton this year.

I headed over to the front desk where my good friend Eddie Gazarra was standing eating a large doughnut.

"Hey Steph, you needing help hauling in a skip, you should have buzzed the back door?"

"Not today Eddie, is Carl around?"

"He should be down in a minute, him and Big Dog are heading out soon. Last patrol before they finish for the day. Lucky bastards, I'm on till midnight."

"Never mind Eddie you'll be home in time to catch Santa."

"Whatcha needing with Carl anyway?"

"I need a huge favour, does his cousin still work at the hospital?"

"Harry, yeah as far as I know, here he is now you can ask him yourself."

I turned around and watched Carl Constanza and Big Dog as they approached. Big Dog had a coffee in one hand and a Tasty Pastry bag in the other. Carl had a coffee in one hand and something else in the other. Shit I thought as I realised what he was holding, at the same time as Carl clocked me standing there. He ambled over to me quickly before I could escape.

"Steph, just the very person." He stopped short and leant forward to sniff the air. "You haven't been rolling around in garbage have you?"

"No I haven't, I'm not looking for any skips today." I tried to back away from him but Big Dog had circled behind me so there was no escape. Carl stepped forward again into my personal space and held his sprig of mistletoe aloft, a triumphant look on his face. Damned stupid Christmas tradition.

"It's okay Steph, don't look so worried."

"I don't know where your mouth has been recently Constanza."

"I'll have you know the last person I kissed under this mistletoe was your mother."

"My mother! When?"

"About half an hour ago outside the Tasty Pastry, she was in buying an apple pie." This was news to me. I thought my mother baked her own apple pies!

"So you don't need to worry about catching any cooties, I only kiss respectable women."

"And you're carrying that around while you're on patrol?"

"He was hoping to get paired with Robin, but she got borrowed by Morelli for a job they were working on. So he's stuck with me." Big Dog took a step forward making kissy faces at Carl.

"Fuck off I told you I ain't kissing you till you get rid of that attempt at a moustache you've got going on there." Big Dog was sporting a dead mouse on his upper lip.

Carl raised the mistletoe again and I knew I wasn't going to get out of it. I ended up getting kisses from Carl, Big Dog and Eddie. I turned my cheek to Big Dog, there was no way I was going to kiss his big hairy lip either!

"So what you doing here anyway Steph?"

I told him what I was after but not why I needed it.

"I'll give Harry a call, see what I can do." Carl disappeared around the front desk to call his cousin.

"So what are you up to Steph?" Eddie asked. "It's Christmas Eve, what the hell do you need a trolley for?"

"I've just got a awkward present I need to deliver. It's no big deal." Ha if they knew what I was up to they would be asking for front row seats. The police and Rangeman have a professional relationship but I knew they would love to see someone get one up on them.

Just then there was a commotion at the front door as Joe Morelli, Robin and an other man I didn't recognise entered the building. They were dragging Santa Clause behind them! His arms were handcuffed behind his back and his beard was hanging slightly askew. Big Dog and Eddie ran over to help them get him down to a cell. Santa was putting up quite a fight.

Joe noticed me standing there and wandered over to greet me. He leant down to give me a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek. Joe and I had come to a mutual agreement a while ago that whilst we couldn't live with each other, we couldn't live without each other either. So we had split up as a couple and tried out being just good friends. So far it seemed to be working just fine, and we were actually getting along so much better this way. Joe now understood my need to do things my own way, and no longer complained when I got myself into situations that before he wouldn't have tolerated. He was still there to pick up the pieces if I needed him to, but without the usual lectures. Bob now genuinely missed me, and Joe's boys didn't have a say in it!

"Why have you arrested Santa Clause on Christmas Eve? Please don't tell me he's done away with Mrs Clause."

Joe laughed warmly but his eyes were tired. As usual he needed a shave and a haircut but he looked as gorgeous as ever, but he looked like he hadn't had a decent sleep for a while. I made a mental note to head round to his place within the next couple of days to make sure he was okay. He was looking troubled.

"I've been helping vice out for a couple of days. Santa here has been selling to kids outside the mall, and I'm not talking about candy canes or chocolate coins. We've been watching him all morning. He's a nasty piece of work. Some of the kids knew exactly what he was selling but he was also selling to kids who didn't know better. The scumbag will probably be bailed out in time to deliver the rest of his presents tonight though."

"Hey Steph, Harry's got what you need, you can pick it up round the back of the hospital beside the kitchens. You know where that it is?"

"Yeah I chased a skip though those kitchens once. Thanks Carl I owe you one."

"How about another one then?" He came at me with the mistletoe again. Joe laughed and grabbed the sprig from him and held it above my head. All eyes were on us as he planted a smacker on my lips.

"What, just cause we broken up doesn't mean we can't be friendly." He slung an arm around my shoulders and pulled me towards him. We stood there comfortably watching the expressions on the other men's faces. They still hadn't got over the fact we were no longer a couple.

Just then Robin walked into the room. Carl saw his opportunity and grabbed the mistletoe back from Joe and held it up towards Robin. She made a face but accepted a kiss on the lips from Carl graciously.

"What about you big boy?" she said to Eddie. I swear she made him blush as she took the mistletoe from Carl and moved towards him. She leaned up to give Eddie and kiss before moving over to Big Dog and giving him a kiss on the cheek.

"That's it, this fucking moustache has to go, nobody wants to kiss me any more." Big Dog complained. "C'mon Carl I need to go buy me some razor blades."

Carl walked over to give me one more kiss on the cheek. "Have a great Christmas Steph, hope Santa's good to you!"

"Well I better get a move on, lots to do and all that." I pulled away from Joe but his attention was on Robin, who was standing laughing at something Eddie had said to her. Joe had a look in his eyes and I smiled.

"What?"

"You're looking at Robin like you used to look at me!"

"I am not!"

"Get over yourself Morelli, you're in lurve!"

"I am not in love. But how would you feel if I asked her on a date?" he asked me seriously.

"Joe, I couldn't be happier if you found someone you can settle down with. You deserve someone who can give you what I couldn't. If that person is Robin then that's even better. She's lovely Joe."

"Thanks Steph." Joe gave me another hug and a kiss on the forehead. "You still on for tomorrow night though?" Joe was coming round to my parents in the evening for leftovers and some Plum family banter.

"Oh yes, I'll definitely be needing someone non Plum related by then. I'll see you around seven then?"

"Okay. Enjoy your party tonight. Hope Santa's good to you Cupcake!"

* * *

I quickly popped in by Pleasure Treasures for my new elf outfit on the way to the hospital. I got to the hospital and only had to wait ten minutes for Harry Constanza to bring my a trolley. It was used to move tubs of laundry around. You didn't think I meant a trolley used to move bodies did you?

Next stop was my mother's where I was hoping to borrow a few things. It was around 2pm now so I had plenty of time to get back and get ready for 4pm. I was a little nervous to how the Merry Men would react when they saw what I had in store for them. I don't think I would ever live it down, and it would take them a while to get over it I'm sure.

I got to my parent's house just as my mother was clearing away the lunch dishes. A half eaten apple pie sat on the table so I helped myself. On another day I might have quizzed my mother on her 'home baked' apple pies but I would let her off today.

"I wasn't expecting to see you today Stephanie. Is everything okay?" my mother asked joining me at the table and helping herself to a slice of pie.

"Everything's fine, just needed to borrow a few things for tonight if that's okay?"

"Sure, as long as you don't break anything. What do you need?"

I told her and she looked at me for a long moment. It suddenly crossed my mind that she would refuse and that would ruin everything.

"As long as you know what you're doing Stephanie, and you return everything by tonight."

"I promise Mom." I finished my pie and jumped up to give my mother a kiss on the cheek. She looked a bit taken aback but softened and gave me a smile.

"Where is everyone?" I suddenly realised how quiet it was in the house.

"You're father is out doing his Christmas shopping, you know how he leaves everything to the last minute. You're grandmother is upstairs having a nap, she says she's determined to stay awake at midnight mass tonight. You will be there tonight won't you Stephanie?"

"Oh I don't know Mom I haven't been for years. You know I normally fall asleep before it. Plus I've got this Rangeman party tonight." I was hoping to be nicely drunk and in the company of friends at midnight, not sitting in church with my family arguing about what we are going to watch on television after our Christmas dinner!

"Well at least try and make an effort. Joseph normally makes it every year so you shouldn't have an excuse."

"Joe only goes cause his Grandma Bella threatens to put the 'eye' on him if he doesn't. I think Joe might have other plans tonight anyway."

"Oh that's good, are you inviting him along to your party tonight."

"No, I just heard that he would be busy." My mother still harbours hopes that Joe and I will still get back together. She can't understand how we can still be such good friends but not be in love with each other. One day soon I hope she will come to term with it.

"Right Mom I really have to go. I'll just go get my stuff" I gave her another quick kiss on the cheek then headed up the stairs to get what I needed.

* * *

I got back to Rangeman just after 3.30pm and just as the heavens opened. It was freezing cold and the rain was turning to sleet. Maybe it would snow after all but even if it did it wouldn't lie. The ground was too wet. I struggled to get my load from the back seat of Big Blue. I had to borrow my most hated car as my own car wasn't big enough for the big cardboard box I had got from my mothers and the trolley from the hospital.

I managed to get everything together and retrieved my bags from the front seat. I gave the camera's a wave as I am sure they would have been watching my every move, and entered the elevator hitting the button for the control room.

I exited the elevator and walked out to be surrounded my Merry Men.

"Whatcha got in the box Steph?" Bobby asked trying to take a peak but I slapped his hand away.

"Just some props for tonight, and my Secret Santa present. Tank can I have the key for the Break Room so I can go get changed? I don't want to get interrupted."

"Sure Steph." Tank took a key from a metal box and handed it to me. "You're taking this pretty seriously are you not?"

"It's pretty daunting, having to kiss all you big men. I want to look my best, and I want you all to have a good time too."

"Look Steph, you don't have to go ahead with this, it's just a joke that's gotten all out of control." Tank took my arm and led me away from the pack.

"Tank, it's okay honestly, it's just a bit of Christmas fun."

"I know but if Ranger finds out . . . . ."

"If Ranger find's out then nothing, we're not together Tank, he can't say or do anything to you guys for just having a little fun. Anyway Tank you have Lula so you don't have to worry, you'll just be getting a quick peck on the cheek."

Tank laughed and let me go. "Okay Bomber it's your show."

"Bobby I take it there is definitely no camera's in the Break Room. If you've gone back on your work, you won't be seeing any action."

"I promise Steph, no camera's."

There normally wasn't any cameras in the Break Room so it should be easy enough to spot if they had installed one. It was one of the few spaces in the building that wasn't monitored.

I pushed my load through the control room and felt all eyes on me. I looked over at Lester who gave me a wink. He obviously wasn't sulking any more about sharing me and was probably looking forward to Round 2! I headed through the double doors at the back and through to the Break Room. I checked no one was there before locking myself in. I did a quick scout for camera's but couldn't see anything. I opened the box and got everything out. I had little over ten minutes to get ready.

* * *

At exactly 4pm there was a knock at the door. I opened the door and watched the Merry Men troop in. There was Lester, Bobby, Tank, Ram, Brett, Zero, Manny, Hal, Cal, Binkie and Woody. Even Hector had turned up for the show. There was hardly room to move as they all crowded around me, eyeing me up in the Elf's outfit.

My outfit was a short green velvet sleeveless dress which was trimmed with red fur along the hem and across the bust. I had matched it with red velvet 4 inch FMP's and little red santa hat. I was feeling very exposed but also slightly turned on by the attention I was getting. I felt a pang as I thought how Ranger was missing seeing me in this dress but I quashed it. I had far too much to do than think about Ranger.

I had set a seat in the middle of the room under the mistletoe someone had hung from the ceiling. I had my box sitting next to the seat. I walked over to sit down and I watched as all the men nearly drooled as I sat down and crossed my legs.

"Right everyone form a queue to the right of the room please." They all moved away from the door and along the side of the room where the kitchen facilities were, leaving me sitting looking directly at the door. "Oh I think it's a bit bright in here don't you think." I stood up and moved over to dim the lights slightly.

I turned around and looked at the queue of eager faces. "Lester would you mind opening the box for me."

Lester took a step forward and took the lid off the big box. He yelled as the contents leaped up from the box. There was silence in the room, followed by complete panic.

I quickly left the room, locking the door behind me. I had just left the Merry Men in the company of my Grandma Mazur, wearing a 2 piece elf outfit consisting of a red velvet bra with bell tassles, and pair of tiny red velvet shorts. I could hear the shouts of terror coming from the room as they realised they were locked in.

I quickly ran along to the elevator up to my room to get ready for the party. If they hadn't managed to get themselves out in the next half hour I would probably go down and rescue them. My grandmother on the other hand, would be having the best Christmas ever!

**Only the party to go now folks. Will the Merry Men escape with their clothes on, and what will they do to Steph in revenge. Please leave a review, think of it as your Christmas present to me.**


	3. Chapter 3

**This was supposed to be the last chapter but another idea popped into my head so this is a little bonus for you. Hope you enjoy.**

**Usual disclaimer - none of this is mine, unfortunately!**

Chapter 3

I decided that maybe I would be safer leaving the apartment I was borrowing for the night and go up to 7 instead. I knew that you could secure the apartment from the inside, so even if someone had a fob for Ranger's apartment they wouldn't be able to get to me. The Merry Men would calm down eventually, hopefully in time for the party. I was going to have to face them sooner rather than later as I had to get my grandmother home safely.

I stripped out of my outfit and changed back into my Rangeman uniform, hanging my dress carefully in Ranger's walk in closet. I was going to take a shower but didn't see the point as I would have to go out again soon. I would just have to get ready quicker than usual after returning my grandmother. That part of the plan I hadn't work out properly.

I went through to Ranger's fridge to look for something to eat. As usual there was nothing there but green stuff. I decided I was going to have to bite the bullet and go down and rescue my grandmother, or was it the other way around? Then I would go in search of real food.

I left the apartment and took the elevator down to the control room. It was eerie exiting into the quiet room. As there wasn't a soul around I assumed they hadn't managed to get themselves free. Rangeman locks were obviously made to keep even a superhero out, or in this case, keep them in! I took a quick detour into my cubicle to grab a Tasty Kake and looked in amazement at the pile of files in my in tray. Okay so I had forgotten about the small pile I had this morning but there must have been around twenty files in there now. Well tough shit they would be staying there now until after the holidays.

I hauled myself along to the break room and stood and listened at the door for a second. I couldn't hear a thing from inside. I slowly inserted the key and turned it. I eased the door open and popped my head around, ready to run for my life if I had to. I would probably be best taking the fire escape rather than the elevator as the men would be able to run down the stairs and catch me coming out the elevator. Then I would be doomed!

I looked around the room in disbelief at the sight before me. Binkie was lying across a chair with his shirt ripped, Hal had no shirt on at all! Bobby was sitting with his head in his hands and Tank was rocking back and forth muttering to himself. Zero, Manny, Woody and Cal were all sat on the floor all staring in different direction, Woody had also lost a shoe. Ram was passed out on the kitchen floor. Then I saw something lying on the floor under the mistletoe and the room began to spin. Oh. My. God! What had I done? Lying on the floor was my Grandmother's bell tassled bra! But there was no sign of my Grandmother.

I gingerly stepped into the room but no one seemed to notice my presence. I realised that I couldn't account for everyone. I looked around and noticed that Hector, Brett and Lester were missing. I took a step closer to the scene of the crime and stopped as a I heard a sound coming from the cardboard box. I stepped closer and peered in, expecting to find my Grandma Mazur there. But it wasn't, it was Brett. He was sitting wedged into the box with his knees to his chest and his eyes closed, silently praying. What had I done to Ranger's men? He was going to kill me when he got back.

I looked around again and noticed a note pinned to one of the kitchen cupboards. I walked over and grabbed it. It was from Hector.

_Dear Stefanie_

_Your Grandma I have drive home. She has taken their souls. Watch back._

Watch back? What did that mean? Underneath Hector's scrawl was my Grandmother's handwriting.

_I had a pip of a time. Tell Hal he can pick his shirt up anytime he wants._

Thank God at least it sounds as though she wasn't being returned to my parent's topless! My mother was still going to kill me though. I don't know who was scarier, Ranger or my mother!

I read the note again. Watch back? Then too late, two thoughts jumped into my head, Lester was still missing, and Hector was warning me to watch my back. I spun around just as Lester slammed the door shut and locked the door, putting the key down his pants. Where the keys ended up I don't want to know, as I know for a fact that Lester goes commando. But I'll keep that story for another time!

"You're a dead woman Stephanie Plum. Look what you've done to these men. I've never seen them so traumatised."

I circled around the room as Lester started moving towards me.

"C'mon Lester, she's an old woman, they've seen far worse than that in their lifetimes."

"We saw her breasts Steph! We all had to look at old lady breasts!" Lester wore his own look of shock then, and I realised that one of the pockets on his cargo pants were ripped, as if someone had tried to wrench them down. Oh my God!

"You've all seen breasts before Lester, get yourself together. How did she lose her bra anyway?"

"She took it off. After she'd . . . . . molested us all, she took it off and danced. She danced and she laughed. You think Morelli's Grandma Bella is scary, but you're Grandma Muzur. . . . . . she's a demon!"

I looked in shock as Lester's eyes filled with tears and he fell to the ground.

I stood there dazed. Part of me was thinking there was no way my Grandmother would have such an effect on these men, but then they were all terrified of going near her on a normal day. And seeing her boobies must have been quite a frightening thing for anyone to see. They droop down to her waist. But to make a grown man cry, or pass out on the floor? I ran my hands through my hair and looked around again. I had killed Ranger's men!

I went to move forward when suddenly something caught hold of my ankle. I looked down and realised Ram had crawled forward and was looking up at me with fear in his eyes. I tried to get away from him but he held on tight with a vice like grip. I crouched down to try and prise his fingers away when someone grabbed me from behind and handcuffed me. I stumbled forward and ended up on top of Ram. I spun around to look up and found Bobby standing over me, a mean glint in his eyes.

"Payback time Bomber, you owe us big this time"

I tried to get up on my feet but Ram had come to life and wrapped his arms around me so I couldn't escape. Suddenly the Merry Men all seemed to come out of their stupor and focused on me.

"Oh this is going to be fun." Brett said as he climbed out the box.

Bobby picked me up and dragged me over to the chair. More handcuffs and some shackles appeared and between Bobby and Hal they got me well and truly secured to the chair. They stepped back with a triumphant look on their faces. God help me!

"C'mon it really wasn't that bad, was it?" They all just stared me down. Lester's phone went off and he disappeared out the room after rooting around some for they key.

"It's here." Tank said looking at me. "You're worst nightmare is about to begin."

This must all be a joke. These men wouldn't just turn on me just because I set my grandmother on them. They have guarded and protected me, broken bones and taken bullets for me. Whatever they had in mind wouldn't be nasty. But I had never seen this side to them before, or at least not when I was the target. All they wanted was a kiss, right?

"Wrong, this is about you taking advantage of us when we were vulnerable and exposed."

"Oh get over yourselves Woody. Vulnerable and exposed? You lot? Just get this over and done with so I can go get ready for tonight."

The door opened and Lester came back in with Hector carrying a big white box and the smell coming from it was unmistakable. A horrible feeling came over me as I began to suspect what was going to happen. No they wouldn't do this to me, not me!

The men all formed a semi circle around me placing the box in front of me. I was becoming overcome with the smell from within. Lester moved forward and lifted the lid so I could see it's contents. I groaned as I saw I was right. I read out the words "Happy Birthday Mabel" in pink frosting on top of the huge yellow birthday cake.

Cal appeared with plates and a knife and Lester cut big slabs of cake and handed them out. Tank, Bobby, Binkie, Woody and Zero all sat down with their slices and tucked in, making satisfied noises and groans. Lester handed more slices out to Hector, Brett, Hal and Cal and they too started making orgasmic sounds as they ate. Is that what I sounded like when I ate cake. I would have to pay attention when they no doubt took turns feeding me my slice.

Lester cut slices for Ram and Manny who had been waiting patiently before taking a slice for himself. The room was then filled with the sound of groans and eating at they all devoured their cake. I looked back down at the box and gasped. Then I realised what Tank had said was true. A huge delicious birthday cake was being eaten right in front of me and I wasn't going to get any. My worst nightmare was coming true. The bastards.

Soon enough everyone finished their cake and started to leave. One by one they piled their plates by the sink and came over to give me a kiss under the mistletoe. All of them where just friendly kisses on the cheek. I supposed I shouldn't really have expected any more. These men were all my friends after all, they wouldn't have taken advantage. Or at least they were all my friends. I hated them all now for what they had just put me through!

Lester was last to leave as he came over and bent down. "Revenge is sweet, isn't it Beautiful." God he smelt like heaven. He went in for a kiss but instead of on the cheek like everyone else he kissed me on the lips. I could taste the cake on him and I just couldn't resist. My tongue took on a mind of its own as it licked along Lester's bottom lip. His tongue met mine and the taste of cake was overpowering. I completely devoured him until all I could taste was Lester and my senses came back. I pulled back and looked at Lester's satisfied grin.

"This was all your idea wasn't it?"

"I knew you wouldn't be able to resist. The other guys just think it was to make you sit and suffer, but I knew if I waited I would get my reward."

"I hate you Lester Santos!"

"No you don't Beautiful, you can't get enough of me. I just wish I'd left a slice left. We could maybe have had some fun with that."

"Go fuck yourself Santos."

"Now now where's your Christmas spirit Stephanie? Well I'm off to get ready for the party. See you later Steph." Lester got up and moved over to the door.

"Hey you can't just leave me here. Unlock my cuffs."

"Oh yeah sorry, here you go." Lester threw they keys across the room and they landed right in the middle of the empty cake box.

"How am I supposed to get to them asshole?"

"Oh someone will be along sooner or later. Maybe if you are nice to them they'll set you free." With that he gave me a wink, then left the room.

I looked around me in disbelief. This was beyond a joke now. Okay so I had left them locked up but not chained up? I tried to move my wrists and ankles but it was not good. I wasn't going to be able to free myself on my own. Surely they wouldn't leave me for long though?

As I thought a few minutes later the door slowly opened, and I blinked as Santa Clause himself appeared. They just weren't going to give up today.

"Okay so who's Santa then? What am I going to have to do to get myself out of here?"

Santa didn't say anything. He wasn't big enough to be Tank, Hal or Cal. It must be one of the others like Woody or Binkie or . . . no it couldn't be. Could it?

Santa came closer but I still couldn't work out who he was. His beard and moustache was too bushy to see anything under it, and his hat came down to just above his eyes. Look into his eyes I can hear you all shouting. But this Santa Clause was wearing designer shades!

**I promise I will do my very best to get the last chapter done soon. I just hope no more ideas pop into my head and no more extra chapters appear. Please review.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Well here it is, the final chapter. Was hoping to have it finished by now but things keep getting in the way, like putting up Xmas trees and kids nativity shows!**

Chapter 4

Santa picked the keys up from the cake box and came over to me to unlock my cuffs and shackles. When I was free he gripped me by my shoulders and pulled me towards him. I reached up and pulled his dark glasses from him. I looked into his eyes and felt a flash of disappointment, before confusion set in. I recognised those eyes, but couldn't place them straight away.

"Do I get a kiss for rescuing a damsel in distress?"

"Diesel! How the hell did you get in here?"

"Hi Diesel, how are you? I haven't seen you in ages Diesel, you're looking good Diesel."

"Sorry, hi Diesel." I reached up to give him a quick hug. "But how did you get in?"

"I came down the chimney, how else does Santa get in?"

I narrowed my eyes and crossed my arms, staring at him.

"Okay so I have a magic key, how else does Santa get in when there isn't a chimney?"

"Diesel?"

"Okay so there was no one in the control room. I thought when I got as far as the elevator and wasn't pounced on by Ranger's goons that I would be safe enough to try and visit you. I couldn't believe my luck when I found the place to be empty. Your boss really needs to do something about the security in this place."

"Everyone was a bit . . . .pre-occupied. So why are you here? I'm not going to help you look for someone, I'm now officially finished work for the holidays."

"Why would I just be here to ask for your help? Is it not possible I might just be here to wish you a Merry Christmas?"

I kept my arms folded and tapped my foot waiting for his answer.

"Honestly Steph I'm just here to wish glad tidings to a friend." With that Diesel pulled me towards him and planted a big kiss on my lips. He went in for another one but I jumped back. There was only one person I wanted to kiss now and that wasn't likely to happen. I was already starting to feel a little guilty about kissing Lester so passionately, although I was overcome by cake and that was an absolute legitimate excuse. I headed over to the kitchen area to look for some food. Diesel took a seat under the mistletoe.

"So why are you dressed as Father Christmas?"

Diesel looked down at himself as though he had forgotten he looked like that. "Oh yeah, I've got a big job on tonight, need to look the part."

"What are you going to do, give Santa a hand with his deliveries?"

"What, do you honestly believe St Nick can deliver all those presents to all the kids in the world without a little help!"

I waited for Diesel to give me the real reason why he was dressed like that but we were interrupted by Tank lumbering through the door.

"Oh you've managed to free yourself. Who are you talking to?"

"Tank I know you're going to be pissed but this is . . . . . " Diesel was gone. I looked around the room in astonishment.

"Are you okay Steph? I knew that thing with the cake would set you over the edge."

"I'm fine I just . . . ." How the hell does Diesel do it? Maybe I was delirious through lack of sugar or something. I grabbed one of Ella's cookies she had made earlier. "So were you coming to free me then?"

"Yeah Lula would have killed me if you weren't ready in time for tonight. Steph, Ranger just phoned in."

I gulped and looked at Tank. He was looking nervous as he walked towards me. "What did he say?"

"He wants me to give you something. He would probably do this a bit differently but . . . . " Tank leaned down and gave me kiss on the cheek. It was so sweet my eyes filled with tears.

"Don't cry Steph, you know he would be here if he could, but this job has to be finished tonight, then he has some loose ends to tie up before he can get back."

"I know Tank but . . . I miss him. Everyone knows how I feel about him. I'm scared that when he does come back he might not want what I want, or at least for more than one night. He's told me that he doesn't do relationships."

"Steph, I know Ranger better than anyone, and let me tell you that he loves you, but deep down I think he's scared to love you, cos when you get to know the real Carlos, you might not like what you see."

"But he's never given me the chance to get to know Carlos." The tears were flowing freely now as Tank pulled me towards him in a big bear hug. Tank might look as scary as hell but deep down he's just a big teddy bear. Lula was a lucky lady.

"What's going on here then?" I looked up to find Bobby and Lester standing grinning at us. Their grins both turned to concern when they saw my face though.

"Steph you okay? Shit, Les you should have let her go earlier."

"I'm okay Bobby, I just get a bit emotional at this time of year, don't worry."

"She got herself free anyway, she's obviously been paying attention to something." Tank told the others. I hope they never ask me to demonstrate how.

"You missing Batman Beautiful?"

I nodded my head and swallowed back more tears. I found myself in the middle of a Lester and Bobby sandwich with a side of Tank. Not a bad place to be let me tell you. Eventually my air ran out and I had to wriggle myself free.

"Look guys, I'll be fine honestly. I'm going to head up to 7 to get ready for the party. Once I've got some of Ella's food in me I'll be back to normal."

"Yeah this is going to be some party. Tank the backshift have arrived, you need to come and brief them." Bobby said as he grabbed the last of Ella's cookies. Tank had hired a few guys who work with us occasionally to man the fort until the party was over. Lots had been drawn earlier to decide which few Rangemen would be allowed to drink later, and which ones would be covering the early shift. I had no idea who had drawn what.

"I'll see you guys soon. Remember bring your Secret Santa presents."

"Don't worry, they're all taken care of Steph. Santa has them all in his sack." Bobby said as we all left the room to go to our various destinations.

* * *

Two hours later and I was standing in the party apartment looking at all the wonderful spread Ella had laid on. There was lots of savoury nibbles to choose from but my eyes couldn't get past the cakes! There was also a rather large jug of Ella's mulled wine and I can tell you it was very nice. I should know I was on my third glass!

I was just wondering where everyone was when the door opened and Santa Clause appeared. There was no mistaking who Santa was this time. This Santa was built like a Tank!

"Hey Steph, where is everyone?"

"I was just wondering that myself. They better hurry up though or there will be no mulled wine left." I poured myself another one, and one for Tank.

"So you got the Santa card then?"

"Ho Ho Ho" Tank rumbled. I rolled my eyes at him and turned around to help myself to more food. I filled my plate and turned back around, what I saw nearly made me drop my plate. One Santa was now two!

"What the hell?" This Santa was much smaller than Tank and way smaller than the suit I had provided. I wracked my brain to think who it could be.

"Hector?"

"Ho Ho Ho" was his reply. There was no mistaking the tear shaped tattoo above his beard though.

"Why do we need two Santa's?"

I didn't get an answer though as the door opened again and a whole troop of Father Christmases came into the room.

"What the hell" I said again.

"Merry Christmas Steph" a Santa said as he slipped past me to help himself to some food. I think that one might have been Hal, due to the fact he was almost as big as Tank, and Hal is just as bad as me when it comes to food!

"Just keeping you on your toes." That one was definitely Lester, as that Santa grabbed my ass as he went past.

I tried to count how many Santa's were in the room but gave up at twelve as they all kept moving around. Ella had joined us then and she was dishing out mulled wine to anyone who wanted it - which was nearly everyone.

After half an hour or so of cheerfal banter the Merry Men were certainly living up to the name I had given them, the mulled wine was making us all very merry indeed. One Santa suggested we started dishing out the Secret Santa presents. This was my cue to be Santa's Little helper, but which Santa would I be helping?

There was much discussion among the men but one Santa seemed to have been nominated and took a seat beside the Christmas tree. I was then led over to sit on his knee and a large sack put before me. I tried to work out who the leading Santa was but was shouted down by the men to start on the presents. Jeez these guys were impatient.

The first present I pulled out was for Cal. I looked around the room but couldn't work out who he was among the sea of red so I just shouted his name out instead. A huge Santa came lumbering over to me. I stood up to give him his present and was rewarded with a bear hug and a big kiss. Not a wholly bad situation to be in. Cal sat back down and opened his present. In it was a brand new high-tech stun gun! Cal seemed mighty impressed with his bounty.

Next out the bag Bobby. He came over and repeated the whole hugging and kissing thing before taking his present. This job was turning out to be quite fun, and the mulled wine was certainly helping! Bobby's present was a brand new high-tech stun gun. Wow these guys really were original!

The next two presents were for Hal and Hector. They both got - yes you guessed it. Everybody seemed really happy but also genuinely surprised that they had all thought of the same thing. I started to wonder why both Joe and Diesel thought I was working with mindless goons! Tank was going to be severely disappointed with my contribution.

I handed out eight more presents which mostly contained the state of the art stun gun, but there was also a pair of night vision goggles and some kind of fancy but very lethal looking knife. Everyone was very pleased with themselves and were pretending to zap each other. Thank God none of them were charged.

Lester was next out the bag and by then I had worked out it was his knee I had been sitting on. I stood up and handed him his present to give him room to open it. His present contained a box of 100 extra large condoms and a bottle of aftershave.

"This has got to be from you Steph. You trying to tell me something?"

"It's got nothing to do with me, I wasn't your Secret Santa."

"What the fuck then, who bought me this shit? It's not like I can't use them but c'mon guys!" A rolling thunder of laughter moved around the room. Looks like everyone was in on Lester's present.

I felt around in the bag and was slightly disconcerted to only find one present left, and it was Tank's. I knew my present would turn out to be a disaster!

I handed my present to Tank and watched as Louis entered the room and gave me a wave. Tank took his present and looked confused. No stun gun from me, just a small soft package. He opened the paper surprisingly neatly and sat in confusion at what was in his hands. Silence fell around the room as the rest of the men shared his perplexity.

"What the fuck!" he said as he held up the pair of tiny white baby booties I had bought him. Tank looked around the room then back at me. "Steph?"

I jumped up and gave him a hug just as the door burst open and Lula and Connie came running in. Tank looked at Lula, then back to the booties. He then looked at me, then at Lula, and finally back to the booties again. The penny finally dropped as he ripped his beard off and pulled Lula towards him.

"Does this mean what I think it does?"

"Yeah Honey Bear, we're gonna have ourselves a tiny Tank in June." Tank and Lula looked so happy I almost cried, and looking around I could swear I saw a few tears among the room. When I had told Lula I had drawn Tank as my Secret Santa she had come up with the idea to let him know about the baby. I don't think it was a present he would be forgetting in a long time, although I'm sure when everything was settled down he would be hankering after the stun gun.

We were all hugging and congratulating the happy couple when someone shouted over the noise. "It's snowing, it's fucking snowing." I ran over to the window and looked out at the lovely big snowflakes that were falling from the sky. It was that lovely fluffy snow that made you feel all Christmassy. So we were in for a white Christmas after all.

"Let's go up to the roof." someone shouted and there followed much commotion as umpteen Merry Men tried to get out the door at the same time. I followed and we all ran up the fire escape and out onto the roof. The roof was covered in a thick blanked of snow. It must have been snowing for some time but we had all been so busy we hadn't noticed.

We all stood huddled quietly watching the snowflakes in wonder. I swear if someone had started singing a Christmas carol everyone would have joined in. The moment was shattered though when the first snowball was thrown. The two Santa's that had been standing beside me and therefore keeping me warm moved to join the battle and I stood there frozen. I was just about to move back inside when a snowball hit me on the back.

"Argghh" I was absolutely frozen. I made a quick snowball myself and turned to give a Burg glare to anyone who dared to throw another one but quickly retreated into the building when it looked like it wasn't going to work. Even Ella was preparing a nice big snowball looking for a victim.

I ran down the stairs to 7 to change my clothes and go back up for revenge. This party was turning into the best party ever!

I stopped short when I looked at the snowy footprints leading to the ajar door of Ranger's apartment. I slowly crept to the door and raised my snowball ready to attack. No St Nick was going to get the better of me! I slowly opened the door open and walked into the apartment. I looked around quickly and spied Santa in the kitchen with his back to me. He didn't seem to have heard me entering. I tiptoed over until I was right behind him.

"You looking for something?" I shouted.

The Santa turned round quickly and I threw the snowball, getting him square on the face. I squealed with delight and did a little happy dance around the room.

"Babe?"

I stopped short and stared at him, mouth hanging open.

"Ranger! You're back?"

"I've been back all evening Babe, you've been sitting on my lap for half of it, and very nice that was too."

"I was sitting on Lester's lap though!"

"You were for some of the time, but every time you got up to hand over a present Lester and I swapped places. I can't say I'm too happy that you didn't notice it was me though."

"Is that why everyone was dressed as Santa, so I wouldn't see you were back?"

"I thought you would have cottoned on, but I think Ella's mulled wine might have something to do with that."

"Mmm, possibly you're right there." I moved over to him, so wanting to touch him but at the same time wanting to act cool as well. "Where have you been?"

"You know I can't tell you that Babe."

"Okay, so why are you back early?"

"I wanted to see you"

"Oh" was all I could managed. It was a happy Oh though!

"I've got your present here." Ranger handed me a small velvet box.

Omigod omigod omigod.

"Babe? You look like you might hyperventilate. It's not a ring, if that's what you're thinking, you know I said my love doesn't come with a ring."

"Sure, I knew that." I tried to hide the disappointment in my voice, but here was Ranger declaring his love for me again. That was something wasn't it.

I took the box from him and slowly opened it. Inside it was a silver key.

"A key?"

"It's not just any key Babe."

"I have a key to your apartment!"

"No you have a fob. This is just a ordinary key to an ordinary house."

"An ordinary house?"

"Well maybe not so ordinary." Ranger closed the small gap between us and suddenly I could smell his heavenly scent. I looked up at him into his gorgeous brown eyes, looking over the top of his bushy white beard.

"The Batcave! Is this the key to the Batcave?"

"It is Babe, and I know you will be spending tomorrow with your family, but I would like it very much if you would join me at the Batcave for New Year, and maybe some time after that." Ranger wrapped his arms around me and pulled me towards him.

"Where is the Batcave?" I asked wrapping my arms around his neck.

"That's a surprise." he said. "Your dress is all wet."

"Snowball" I answered pulling his beard from his face so I could look at him. My God he was even more gorgeous than I remembered.

"I think we need to get you out of this before you catch a cold."

"I think that could be a very good idea. Do you have any mistletoe by any chance?"

"Do I need some Babe?"

"Well no, not really, but it would have been nice."

Ranger ran his finger down the side of my face before tipping my chin up towards the ceiling, where a sprig of mistletoe was dangling.

"That's very handy, it just hanging right about this very spot."

"Isn't it just, I must thank whoever put it there. Now about this vacation?"

I looked into his eyes again and felt like I might burst. "I would love to spend the New Year with you at the Batcave, and any time after that."

Ranger pulled me into the most wonderful kiss I had ever experienced. His mouth started soft but soon our tongues met and we drifted into a much deeper kiss. I almost forgot who I was when I pulled back suddenly.

"The Batcave is forever! You told me if I every visited the Batcave it would be forever"

Ranger bent down and gave me a gentle kiss on the lips.

"Merry Christmas Babe."

**And Merry Christmas to all you Babes out there. I hope you enjoyed. Please please leave a review if you did, and if you didn't you can leave one too. I can only learn from my mistakes.**

**Hope you all have a wonderful Christmas and New Year. I'm very happy to report it is snowing in Scotland as I type, and I'm praying for my own White Christmas too. If only I had a Merry Man to share it with (I do have a husband however so he will have to do!!). We can all dream though can't we!**


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